Royal Birth Royal Pain

So then after frenetic media coverage, Kate Middleton royally known as the Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a baby boy. Both the BBC and SKY intimated that this was one trip to the labour ward the whole world had been closely monitored.

Those of us who didn’t read the script or are not part of the “world” were blissfully unaware of this development. In fact it would seem at the precise time she stepped into the maternity ward, I was being driven to Lufwanyama on official duty peacefully oblivious to the media frenzy caused by the maternal travails of one Kate Middleton. It was only when I got back that in my quest to sate my appetite for news that I stumbled upon the Kate story. Well to be more accurate it was thrust in my face. There was no way to avoid it.

 The BBC was running a live text, full of links to different angles to the story. The Sun had more of the same not to mention Sky news. In all my life, I can’t recall such intense scrutiny for a woman honouring her appointment with the labour ward. At one point I was convinced that if it was possible, one of these broadcasters would have paid to insert a camera up the royal womanly places just to monitor the birth. Don’t ever think that is a far-fetched notion.

But then Kate Middleton is not your ordinary woman. The ordinary tag was disposed off the moment she wed Prince William. That day she decided to be an attraction in the British public’s fascination with royalty. It is something I have never understood and probably never will as I am not British. And while I don’t understand it, I can never begrudge the British for their steadfast loyalty to an institution that has remained the epitome of ‘Britishness’, if there ever was such a term.

Royal Watchers

Lessons learnt in medieval times gradually brought a preference for stationery bandits (that is what the common man called kings, queens, lords etc at that time) as opposed to roving ones. Iit was not long before the people went a step further.  They clipped the wings of the stationery bandits through parliaments who gradually restricted the roles of monarchs to be strictly confined to ceremony. That did not stop the people from viewing monarchs in a certain light akin to a curious reverence so much that even wars were fought in their honour, great expeditions taken in their name and defining findings recognized in their name. Take for example the great missionary David Livingstone whose first thought on sighting the Mosi-O-Tunya was to name it after his queen.

Modern celebrity culture has now come to overtake the pious reverence for royalty but the fascination for those who choose to occupy their minds with such things remain. As I said, it is difficult to begrudge the British, I can only claim that I don’t understand.  Which neatly brings me to my next point.

I noticed earlier today some social commentators juxtaposing the Duchess of Cambridge’s safe delivery and the world class medical services she was receiving throughout her pregnancy with the plight of many an African woman who has to die from maternal complications. One of my friends wrote on Facebook “Kate has given birth to a baby boy, meanwhile in Africa some woman dies in child birth”.

I think this is not only unfair but stupid as well. Kate should not be made to feel bad for the good fortune that the accident of birth has bestowed on her. The services are available for her and she ought to use them. Secondly Kate has nothing to do with the travails of millions of African women who have no access to proper maternal care. It is like begrudging your neighbor for eating chicken when they can afford it, simply because you can’t afford it.

African women find themselves in that situation due to decades of economic mismanagement by successive governments. Years of corruption, misplaced priorities and laziness are the reason why our health services are poor and why our maternal mortality rate is high, not Kate Middleton.

There those of you who say, “well Kate was born in the UK who benefited massively from resources from their colonies. So they had a head start in development and now that they are developed they should extend the same to their former colonies”. Well technically they are through the various official development aid vehicles ( although we all know that it is not working, ask Dambisa Moyo if you don’t believe me). My point however is that the west plundered our resources because we let them and in the final analysis we are to blame.

Our chiefs exchanged our young men and women for beads and pieces of clothing, our politicians exchanged our land, resources and rights for illusions of protection signed in foreign language. They still lease out large swathes of our resources ( some of them non-renewable) to multinationals that keep circumventing tax laws and hide in voluminous concession agreements that make it impossible for the common man to benefit from the country’s resources.

Let Kate enjoy her good fortune. Sort out your own problems.

 Expect no let-up in the media frenzy as they will try to cover everything about the royal baby including, its name, the colour of its first poop and other such mundane things. And for Kate if this all turns into a pain in the royal ass, am sure she will deem it a very small price to pay for being part of the royal family. Congratulations.