It is all about the subtleties

So it has now been almost three months since I came here. The blistering cold has given way to the spring, although like a disgruntled ex-girlfriend, the winter keeps budging in. How else would one explain a perfect day of 18 degrees Celsius, no wind, being followed by one whose highest temperature is minus? At the rate we are going, its not totally inconceivable that summer will spring on us while still waiting for spring (no pun intended).

I have always known that I needed a break. To think, to re-allign, to evaluate and so forth. KDI came at the right time. What I had not envisaged though was the heart wrenching nostalgia that would be as a result of me missing my family. I find myself all of a sudden thinking of ways to make it up to them once I get back. You would think a lengthy phone call helps in such situations, but hearing their voices simply worsens it.

                               "One step at a time son" Picture courtesy of Thuy Hang MDP, Vietnam

I believe, that in part is the reason I have taken so long to settle into my stride. Naturally I am an avid reader of everything. I love discovering new things, adding to my knowledge base and of course writing whatever ideas, be they silly or grand that come into my mind. That was the whole point of starting a blog. I have really struggled to get going in the past few months and I have to thank the fear of flunking a mid-term exam as the motivation for my spending some hours in the library.

That said, you will agree with me that it is symptomatic of something fundamentally wrong when one has to be coerced into studying. It is typical of students to study for exams, which is good if you want to pass but probably not the best way of assimilating knowledge. Learning because you are genuinely interested will always yield better results. No one will ever need to throw sanctions in your face in a bid to force you to study. I remember during my undergraduate years how I devoured books, how I wrote volumes of personal journals. I read books as diverse from my major then (Political science) as those by authors such as Charles Dickens, Wole Soyinka and George Elliot. I never needed to be sent to study, and by the time exams came, while everyone was running around in a frenzy like headless chickens I would be calmness personified. My tasks already done, my goals in life clearly marked; and me, steadily marching on towards them.

Now a few years later, after working for PriceWaterhouseCoopers and National Savings and Credit Bank, I can't help but sometimes have that sinking feeling. there are times when reality has been so stark that I find myself reeling with a scary mixture of fear and disappointment. The world can be cruel.Will I ever be able to influence the world in the manner I had initially thought, am I even cut out for such grand undertakings. The consistent stubborn answer I keep getting is a resounding 'yes!'. "Why give up on your dreams, especially when you are young enough to work towards realising them?", the answer adds.

That is were Korea comes in. I am here to connect, with myself, with ideas, with like-minded individuals and ultimately with destiny. Perhaps the exuberance and over-zealous innocence of undergraduate years has been replaced by a more pragmatic realistic outlook, maybe the naivety of those years is being challenged by brutal truths, it could be that the almost Utopian romantic belief in fate has been checked by some blunt collision with the real world, yet I still believe that we can all make a difference. I still believe that I can make a difference. Uniquely talented, destined to offer a distinct service, we all can make a difference. We owe it to posterity.

Korea is about letting go of doubt, finding the belief once again and moving forward with a renewed sense of purpose. This excites me! Its all in the subtle things of life.